Beneath the stars of our sin
by CuratioLethe
Summary: He bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from crying out as the tail of the whip landed home. Despite the name carved into his neck, Soubi had become his in the time they had been together and Ritsuka would do whatever took to get him back. Note:Spoilers for the manga:. Set after Ritsuka and Soubi visit the cemetry
1. Chapter 1

The moon hovered above in it's pale effervescence, effacing its glow over every surface like a god that watched in reverie of the still silence below. The night's chill held a sting; an imitation of his mothers care against his cheek, but stagnant enough to give way to the impression of lifelessness.

He had no particular destination in mind as he wondered, and had his chest not felt so achingly empty, he would realize how truly grateful he was for how abandoned the streets of his neighborhood became when night fell. After all, trying to explain why someone so young wandered the streets at so late an hour would lead to questions he couldn't answer.

/Because I have no where to go./

No where he could bare the idea of being any longer. Every place had been touched; imprinted with memories that pulsed and ached as if infected.

That's how he felt- infected, sick. Lost.

As if he had been robbed of his equilibrium; as if someone had blotted out the sun and took with it the gravity that kept him tied to the Earth.

No where was safe anymore, because Soubi had followed him everywhere, and everywhere they had gone, memories had been made. Even without the photographic proof to pin to his wall, such vivid memories were branded so deeply inside of him that Ritsuka was sure they had become apart of his DNA.

Soubi always did things that were so unnervingly intense that Ritsuka had no choice but to remember them. Almost as if...

The realization hit him with a force that exhaled the air from his lungs in a single breath and the shock of it arrested his steps. The idea ricocheted inside of him like fireworks, driving deeper and deeper inside of him the grinding reality with which he was now faced.

...As if trying to seal himself inside of Ritsuka, sear himself in so deep that forgetting was no longer an option. Ritsuka had always thought he needed the pictures to remember, terrified as he was of forgetting, and Soubi had known that.

That was why he never failed to make each moment into something more than it should have been.

His body trembled, as his head bowed to shield his face from the world and the things he was currently experiencing- things he could feel clearly in the lines of his face. No one could see this, not even the god moon above, because these things /hurt/. This was /scathing/, burning him in a place where not even his mother had ever reached and there was nothing that she could have inflicted on to him that would amount to this.

His breathing became shallow, his body struggling to take in oxygen around the way his throat had suddenly closed in. Warm rivulets made identical tracks down the curve of his cheek, quickly chilling from the cold and he afforded a single, soul-shuddering gasp to ripple in the air. Against the stillness and the silence, the sound exploded from his lips like the backfire of an engine and in that moment, the curtain of loss and confusion he seemed unable to escape, created from the moment Soubi stepped away from him and did not look back, fell away in a flurry of rippling fabric. It left nothing in its wake but shimmering anguish and iron-clad resolve.

His legs seemed to decide on his next course action of their own accord, his mind unable to give conscious commands and he was suddenly running. The air whipped passed him, tugging at his clothes and hair; the scenery around him blurred into a array of dull color as a single thought took precedence at the forefront of everything else and gripped him in an unshakeable, single-minded determination.

He was going to get his fighter back.

One way or another.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: This chapter is a bit short, but it's been so long since I've written for it that I'm hoping that updating for it will get me motivated to get back to working on it.

* * *

><p>If there had been anything worth noting as the scenery flew passed, Ritsuka wouldn't have noticed.<p>

The train rattled on as other passengers chattered around him in hushed tones; smaller children laughed and cried while others spoke to one another over the seats and the intercom buzzed overhead at random intervals, infoming the passengers of the cities they passed as they moved between them.

Despite the noise of activity around him, the only thing that existed to Ritsuka in the time it took to get to his destination were his thoughts. Thoughts focused solely on what he would say, on what answers he would hear to his questions and the ones he hoped he wouldn't have to.

Decidedly, he was simply grateful to have something to focus on. In the very least, it was an improvement from the listless scarcity he had been plunged into for the past two weeks, before the blessing of a new objective pulled him back into reality.

The startling new clarity didn't make his situation any easier however. In fact, having been dragged from the sanctity of incomprehension only served to bring to light just how much of a hollow had been left by Soubi's sudden absence. The absence of the single most unshakeable pillar in his life; and the knife that had been thrust in its place twisted and sank further in, making him painfully aware of its existence with every breath.

No, it wasn't made easier, (he wasn't sure if anything could make this separation easier) but it gave Ritsuka a chance to focus on more then just the problem and a drive to work towards a solution.

If a solution existed, that was.

He wasn't completely sure how long he had been on the train when it finally arrived at its destination in Gora, but enough time had passed to allow for both night and quiet to have fallen. The chilled weather caressed his cheeks upon unboarding and he instantly regretted not bringing a warmer jacket, despite not having a need for it when he had boarded the train.

The station was empty except those who had ridden with Ritsuka, but they cleared the platform quickly, huddling into themselves to brace against the weather and he moved out of the way, glancing around in hopes of catching sight of anyone who lingered.

As the platform emptied of its guests, leaving Ritsuka very much alone, he couldn't help but wonder if Ritsu had intentionally neglected to send someone to retrieve him as they had discussed, but he quickly pushed the thought aside. What would have been the point in that, when the idea that Ritsuka make the trip had been his in the first place?

When ten minutes had passed without incident, he dug into his coat pocket and pulled out from it his mobile, hitting the button for the browser. But just as he began to type in what would (hopefully) give him a number to a cab service, a familiar voice gave him pause.

"Yo, Loveless!"

He sighed: there was certainly no mistaking the intent of that call. Turning in the direction it had come from, Ritsuka spotted the duo that shared the name Breathless. He gathered his pack and met them where they stood at the platforms entrance.

"How many times do I have to ask not to be called that before people listen?"

Midori shrugged and grabbed Ritsuka's bag. "Its just habit, I guess. Its how everyone addressess one another at school. C'mon."

"Sorry we're late, Aoyagi. Midori is hopeless at giving direction." Ai spoke as they turned and made their way into the chill of the night.

"Oi."

A black car waited for them and the driver said nothing as they clambered into the back seat. Upon a nod from Midori, he started the engine.

Silence enveloped the occupants of the vehicle for several moments and Ritsuka absentmindedly fidgeted with a loose thread at the hem of his sleeve, glancing at the pair who sat beside him. It brought to mind his first encounter with them, and with it, the other events that had occurred the day they had battled for the first time.

"Hey, Rituska, is it alright that you're here?"

"What do you mean?"

Ai turned to Ritsuka, her brow furrowed. "It's just that I didn't think you'd come alone at least. Agatsuma seemed reluctant to let you anywhere near the school and here you are, all alone."

The hand that rested on his knee suddenly, unwillingly clenched the fabric of his pants and he tensed at the mention of the fighter's name. It didn't slip Ai and Midori's notice and Ritsuka caught the look they exchanged as he looked away.

"It's fine." His response was clipped, his tone giving nothing more away than a note finality and rest of the drive was spent in silence.

* * *

><p>In the beginning, he had had nothing; nothing he could claim as his own. Everything had been just within his reach without the ability to actually reach out and grasp, and it had left him with the oddest sense of unbalance admist the rest of stress of his daily life- dealing with his mother, the face he was forced to wear for onlookers, the dramatically thin tightrope he had to angle at his weekly meetings with his therapist, (one false move and it would all come tumbling down).<p>

Yet, despite his exhaustive efforts to keep things balanced, it had all unraveled anyways. Like a simmering pot in which the flame had suddenly been fanned too high, causing the contents boil over.

And all it had taken was a single sentence from the brother whom he had grieved for and the retreating figure of the blonde man who had so forcefully inserted himself into Ritsuka's life as Ritsuka begged him not to go.

Ritsuka found, as he sat curled in the same bed he had shared with Soubi not two months before, that the contrast in how he reacted between Soubi's entrance into his life and the way with which he had left were cruelly ironic and he glanced out at the pale moon who smiled down on him in it's now cresent form, as if the heavens were smiling down on him for finally realizing the cruel cosmic joke.  
>He had been branded as Loveless and for Ritsuka to expect anything more out of Fate then for the precious things he had come to grudgingly hold dear not to be snatched away was simply asking too much. Even finding out his brother was alive had been robbed of the joy it should have brought him, because the Seimei who had returned was not the Seimei who had left him in the first place. This new person was hard and cold and cruel; nothing like the beloved brother who always had a kind smile and warm arms for him to take refuge in when he had no where else.<p>

Perhaps, he thought as he pulled the blankets around him tighter and closed his eyes, still sitting upright so his head rested against the window frame; perhaps his brother really had died in that fire.


End file.
